18.11.09

my orchid died


sadly, my orchid has died. this is truly a shame for two reasons: 1) it was a gansta' of love and life purchased for only $8 at a produce warehouse. it lasted through being plastic wrapped, denied water, wasting away forgotten in a locked room for two weeks, taking an interminable car ride sideways, a bowl transfer, and my city's smog ridden urban atmosphere. regardless of all that this little bugger thrived for several months and showed all signs of settling into life as my house plant. 2) i may have unconsciously focused all my secret hopes about being about to keep a living thing alive on this particular little plant thereby disproving my interminable black thumb. but alas, i suppose it is proven and my thumb is definitively black. this reminds me sadly of my reptile stint in high school when a best friend named bug gave me a pet lizard which i promptly killed and then proceeded to replace 6 times-in an attempt to not be a harbinger of death and simultaneously protect my friend's feelings-before I finally gave up. then i was just left with a tank full of uneaten crickets, but death eventually befell them as well. so sad.

regardless, let us all take a moment to respect my gansta orchid and pour one out for him/her. he/she will be missed. and not soon replaced both out of respect for the dead and a lack of the expendible income that makes $4o NYC orchids a responsible purchase. R.I.P. my love.

7.11.09

what if love...

what if i love soft-boiled eggs, new socks, the smell of frozen coffee when you first open the can, babies that are not my own like they are my own, toast with cream cheese and cayenne pepper, beautiful books and just being near beautiful books even when i cannot find the time to read them, the way he smells like warm laundry, and velvet slippers that pad when i walk. what if i love quill pens even though they are not sensible and red lipstick when i am sad? how about a tray of perfumes when i only ever use one and a collection of rosaries when one doesn't really need beads to say prayers or sweet figs that burst on your lips and flea markets finds that look too loved to survive...who am i if i love these things?

2.11.09

in train windows

in train windows
i am beautiful
there i live a life
of dappled light
with rugged shoes
and ubiquitous gowns
tattered sofas and
even more tattered books
where there is never not
an occasion for red lipstick
and love